I'm sure everyone has wished a day away at some point in thier lives, well today was one of them, one thing after another and another and another. But if we wished the whole day away then we would miss even the smallest good things about it like taking my friends girl to gymnastics this afternoon then picking up thier other daughter from school then playing barbies, that was the good part of my day, nothing beats smiling little girls who cant wait to see you. One of them said to me on the way home from school, "I hope Isabel comes home soon, I cant wait to meet her, I am praying that she will come home soon." What a little blessing!
This medical report is going to be the end of me if I let it, nothing but utter non stop stress from so many different angles, I think I broke down into about 3 sob fests this morning, I felt like I couldnt take it anymore and neither could Lee, it just didnt stop this morning, it went on and on and on. Yesterday I felt like God was telling me, "Just focus on Me, JUST me.." I was reminded that everyday there is going to be good news and bad news but God is telling us that we cant get wrapped up in this rollar coaster becasue it forsure then do us in but if we just focus on Him and not the caotic things around us we will be more at peace. I didnt feel God saying that yes Isabel is coming home or no shes not but just "focus on Me" So I didnt do very well on the focusing on Him part today at all but now as I type this it is a little bit easier. I need to relax and stop trying to control every little things but it is SO hard when it means your daughter coming home or not...just focus on Him...I have to keep repeating that over and over.
Pray for Lee, he had a rough day too, pray for our marriage that this will make it stronger and we will be there to support each other no matter what and that the ememy will have no part in this situation. Again, I know I sound like a broken record, but continue to pray for this medical report, we have one chance and this is it. Pray for other decisions that need to be made, God knows what they are (another part of my caotic morning) Thank you thank you thank you for continuing to support us in prayer and for the people who dont even know us, wow, God is using you to make a difference in our lives, thank you.
So I'm going to Calgary with my dad tomorow, he just has to pick up some home reno stuff and I'm going for the ride, will be nice to just get out of town for the day even if it is just moslty driving and not have to deal with all this stuff for just one day, then we will be back in time for the hockey game, Go Tiger's, first game of the play off's!!
We are praying for your family.
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog tonight...we are also in Alberta and adopted from Ethiopia as well as within Alberta. I know that there have been so many changes with the Ethiopia program and that especially with the medical report, you must be so scared right now. The rollercoaster of adoption is difficult at the best of times and then there are the times when the "ride" makes you feel like you want to throw up or even get off, but you are absolutely right to focus on God and give Him control over the situation. He knows the future of your family and has already chosen your child/ren whether those child/ren are in Ethiopia or elsewhere, only He knows. Our adoptions all had so many twists and turns (including a failed adoption) and without knowing the ultimate outcome, it was so hard, but the joys have made it all worth it. I will pray for the outcome and also for peace for you in the meantime.
ReplyDeletelee and melissa. praying for you everyday. the lord is with you guys and everyone is sharing this time with you. keep strong. love dad and mom
ReplyDeleteHow true just to focus on him. This is what he is telling me right now in my walk too and it is very refreshing to hear you say the same thing. "Trust" is my word that I have to keep repeating. I am learning, like you perhaps, that it takes MORE trust to go ahead without having any knowledge of outcome or direction than it does to trust in a difficult situation where you know he is calling you clearly.
ReplyDeleteWe will keep praying...
Echo